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US President Donald Trump in 2017, attending an ASEAN meeting in Manila. Photo: AFP/Jim Watson
ow that U.S. President Donald Trump will likely be out of the White House in a few months, I suggest that he look at the Philippines as a place to retire. During the campaign, Trump told his supporters that he might have to leave the country if he lost to Joe Biden. So I think he should move to the Philippines. And we Filipinos would be honored to have the soon-to-be-former president and world-class celebrity living in our midst. So I hope Trump gives this suggestion serious consideration.
Having closely followed "The Donald" since he rode down the Trump Tower escalator in 2015, I've noticed that he genuinely has many Filipino habits—bad habits, but "genuine Filipino" habits just the same. I have often wondered whether he might have a bit of Filipino blood running through his veins. His four years in the spotlight have only deepened my suspicion that Trump might part Pinoy.
For starters, his children work for him. Like most Pinoy-owned businesses, the owner's family members make up a large part of its management team. When he moved to the White House, he brought along his daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner giving them government jobs—just like Filipino politicians would do.
Then there's the fact that Trump downplays science. He believes global warming is a hoax. He should feel right at home around Pinoys who believe in all kinds of superstitions from dwendes, and amulets, to mangkukulams and kapres. Like Trump, science is "fake news" for Pinoys who prefer to follow the advice of albularyos and faith healers. Many might even take him up on that bleach cure he suggested back in April.
Another quality Trump and Pinoys share is their affinity for conspiracy theories. Trump believes that the "deep state" is out to get him. Likewise, Pinoys believe there are dwendes everywhere toying with their lives and creating mischief. When Trump moves here, he can trade stories with like-minded Filipinos.
Also, Trump prefers being addressed with "sir." one can see him almost gloating when he recounts a general or admiral using that word when addressing him. In the Philippines, everyone is addressed as "sir" and "ma-am." In Manila, Trump will be addressed as "Sir Donald," imparting an air of faux nobility towards him.
They say Trump is a cheapskate who prefers to get something for nothing and pay little or no taxes if he can get away with it. Trump will find himself in good company in the Philippines as many Pinoys feel the same way.
They also say that Trump has no empathy for anyone outside of his family and circle of friends. Similarly, many Filipinos have that same attitude. Trump can build a 12-foot high wall around his mansion and top it off with broken glass shards, as is quite common here. High impenetrable walls keep the riffraff out of sight and out of mind.
I can go on all day describing how Trump is more Pinoy than even he realizes. Therefore he would be better off leaving America and spending the rest of his days in the Philippines, playing golf and chomping on KFC. He can live ostentatiously and spend lavishly. He can fool around with beautiful young women without worrying about creating a scandal.
Finally, the one glaring reason that Trump should think seriously about moving to the Philippines is that he will find himself in the company of numerous Pinoy politicians who, like him, insist that they lost an election because their opponent cheated. For these folks, there are no losers, only winners who were cheated out of their win. So think about it, Mr. Trump, or "Sir Donald," as you are more likely be addressed here. You don't even need to learn our language since most of us understand English. If you consider this offer, let me be the first to say: welcome to the Philippines Sir Donald! Mabuhay ka! Published 11/20/2020
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